Hi and welcome to Naive Parents Anonymous...
Hope your Thanksgiving was great. We went to my mom's house (now known as "Grandma") so I had a year off as hostess. Have fork, will travel was the motto.
Okay, so our new life (with child, work, etc...) is settling into its own routine. My husband and I have had a moment to take a deep breath and reflect on the past three and a half months and we've decided we're writing a book for parents like us. New..naive.. desperate for real information. Subject: things they don't tell you in those parenting books. You are our guinea pigs...feel free to add to the list.
1) Every single toy lights up, plays music, moves around, and overstimulates your child by 1 p.m.
2) Do not try to console screaming child with toy that lights up, plays music & moves around (see #1)
3) Every breastfeeding child eats at his own pace. Some are just 'efficient eaters'. If you try to keep him latched on for 20 minutes (like 'the book' says), you will give him "breast-o-phobia" and no doubt cause permanent damage.
4) Some children HATE their carseat. I've heard stories of moms and dads putting kiddie's carseat in the crib because kiddie will only sleep in the carseat. In our world, this is a fable.
5) Do not try to give equal visitation time to all family members. Buy a steel cage...let them use it...charge admission to neighbors...build college fund.
I'm ready for your revelations now. Tell me your moments of 'things you wanted to know about parenting but....NO ONE TOLD US!!!'
Next week...I'll lend support to Bubba's crash diet cause, tell stories of my first round of Christmas shopping with baby (is it wrong to let them play with their toys before you wrap them?), and we can talk about what we watched instead of another hideous black n gold loss.
Okay, so our new life (with child, work, etc...) is settling into its own routine. My husband and I have had a moment to take a deep breath and reflect on the past three and a half months and we've decided we're writing a book for parents like us. New..naive.. desperate for real information. Subject: things they don't tell you in those parenting books. You are our guinea pigs...feel free to add to the list.
1) Every single toy lights up, plays music, moves around, and overstimulates your child by 1 p.m.
2) Do not try to console screaming child with toy that lights up, plays music & moves around (see #1)
3) Every breastfeeding child eats at his own pace. Some are just 'efficient eaters'. If you try to keep him latched on for 20 minutes (like 'the book' says), you will give him "breast-o-phobia" and no doubt cause permanent damage.
4) Some children HATE their carseat. I've heard stories of moms and dads putting kiddie's carseat in the crib because kiddie will only sleep in the carseat. In our world, this is a fable.
5) Do not try to give equal visitation time to all family members. Buy a steel cage...let them use it...charge admission to neighbors...build college fund.
I'm ready for your revelations now. Tell me your moments of 'things you wanted to know about parenting but....NO ONE TOLD US!!!'
Next week...I'll lend support to Bubba's crash diet cause, tell stories of my first round of Christmas shopping with baby (is it wrong to let them play with their toys before you wrap them?), and we can talk about what we watched instead of another hideous black n gold loss.
posted by Star Morning Show with JR and Kate @ 7:50 AM
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